Hmmmm......

Well, I have been thinking about love lately and how I just would like to find some good men to date in this small town. I have also been struggling with trying to come up with a weight loss plan I can achieve. I know I need to get better at losing weight and maintaining a healthy body for my heart. I am aging quite a bit more rapidly because of my lack of health. However, my laughing gives me back some life. I need to find a routine and stick to it. I just don't know what to do. I am curious about myself. I know when I really want something I will work my butt off but I don't know if I really want to lose weight and I know I should be concerned. I am too loosey goosey about too much. I need to start defining myself more and more. Refining my edges to make a well balanced person. I really am thinking about a lot lately. I don't necessarily know what I want out of myself right now. I don't know where I am going or doing. I am just living day to day right now. I don't think I want to plan anything out right now since I am all open and confused about some things. I have been irritable for months now and I don't know why. I wish I could overcome some things easier right now. That would greatly help. I need to be stronger and more willful to do that which I need to do. I have no idea what I really want. I know I want to go take some classes. I want to sing in a choir. Be in a dance class or some sort of active class to help me lose weight. I really hope I get the job at Panda, that would be pretty awesome. I don't know, it is late and I need to sleep. But all in all I am full of confusion. Should I this? Should I that? Oh lordy I don't know. I am trying to keep my mind open and free but we shall see I suppose :) I am just really hopeful and excited and nervous about the future. I don't know I am just in state of unknowing. But time will be the only answer for everything. Alrighty, I am pretty darn happy with my life. Please be with yours. I love you. Genuinely care for you. You are as great as others claim and as you feel sometimes. I know joy and sorrow, cherish everything! Love you.