Hm....

Well I love a young man, or at least I feel this way. I have felt this way since about December last year and I have yet to get him off my mind. I did stupid and crazy things just to try to forget him but it didn't work. And now I have to go through a well needed process to be the right kind of person again. Not for him, for me. I am glad in a sense that he never gave me a chance because I took the wrong road yes but I have learned quite a bit on this journey. I have learned that I am the only person I can change, I am the only person I need to focus on in terms of things to become better at, I am strong without anyone, I have the strength and love I need, I will not give into others and I am happy with life. I am not one to dwell on the negative. It makes me feel uncomfortable, upset and yucky when I hear people constantly complaining. I don't mean to feel this way but I have an idea that you are given one life and to waste it on blaming, hating, complaining, lying, cheating, stealing, ungratefulness, sadness, guilt, selfish ways or anything of the sorts is very wasteful indeed. I know that life has its ups and downs but I know that when we focus on the bright side of life we will have only bright sides to see. I am a very happy person who has lived a kind of hard life. I may not have been through it all and that is perfectly good. I know that when you have faith and belief in yourself you can push yourself through any trial. You have the power to make your life all you want it to be. You have all you need within yourself. We do not need to be pitying ourselves for the tough times we were put through because of other people. That is just plain old blaming. That is not helping you accept and move on from the problems within your mind. You must take control of your life and actions. I know I need to too. I am including myself in all I say. I am progressing and I am happy because of that. I am doing it for myself and no one else. And that is what is going to help me go further. I realized then when I do things for me, I go further and further than expected. But when I push myself for others, I do not go as far because it is not a true desire of mine to do that or be that. I have become my own person and I am striving everyday to be more and more my own self. I have been through a lot and we all have, but we must never hold ourselves back because of fear or blame or anything. We have all the power we need within ourselves, we must seek it out and cultivate it. Love is not easy, life is not easy, nothing worth striving for is easy. Believe in yourself and your abilities. Love and happiness will conquer all. It all begins with love for one's self. Do not doubt yourself, do not destroy your dreams, do not take away life from your years. Have the power to love yourself and accept yourself. Believe. I love you all. Peace and good joy to your hearts and minds. Love you!