Long time since

I haven't written in a long long time. I don't necessarily know what to write. But I am really happy with where I am in life. I am trying my hardest every day to succeed and become better than I was yesterday. I am doing a pretty good job at staying happy and content and level-headed. I am just plain old happy right now. I am fixing what needs to be fixed and moving right along with life. I feel as though life has been completed and even. Just fulfilling. I know things now that make me very happy. I am growing a lot and I am being the best I can be because I know where I want to go and I know what I am capable of. I am happy and I can truly say that with a peace in my heart. I am comfortable for once in my life and I feel like life will only just get better and better as I continue to strive for my future. I am the only one who can bring this life to life :) I like that little play on words type of thing. But people are way better at it than I am, I just have goofy fun with it since I am a goof and yeah, I am prefectly happy with that. I feel like my life is not held by any limits. I feel, hey wait, I feel. What? Wait, I feel? What is that? I haven't been able to do that for a long time. Hm, what happened? :) I know and I am happy. I know who I am because I now know where I came from. I know and that's all I ever strive for, knowledge. Knowledge is power but it is also helpful for all those who do not have it. And you, people, can edumacate people :) I love people! AHHHHHHH!!! I do, I do!!!! :) Love you all dearly :* kisses and hugs (mwa-mwa)

Thoughts

"Now, in our culture we've been trained for individual differences to stand out. So you look at each person and the immediate thought is...brighter, dumber, older, younger, richer, poorer, and we think of all these dimensional distinctions; put them in categories and treat them that way. And we get so that we only see others as separate from ourselves in the ways in which they are separate. And one of the dramatic characteristics of experience is being with another person and suddenly seeing the ways in which they are like you, not different from you, and experiencing the fact that which is essence in you and which is essence in me is indeed one. The understanding that there is no other. It is all one.
And I wasn't born Richard Alpert, I was just born as a human being, and then I learned this whole business of who I am. And whether I'm good or bad or achieving or not. All that's learned along the way."

Today has been a very philosophical day for me. I have been full of self exploring and explaining. This everything is so mind-blowing and capturing at the same time.

Life ends

If all I have left to say at the end of my life is "I tried hard at everything I did," I've lived a happy life. Because if I tried, I had heart, I had passion for what I did. Judge me, hate me, love me, accept me; do what you must, but my happiness doesn't depend on you. I've felt judged and still loved myself. I've felt hated and still accepted myself. I've felt loved and still hated myself. I've felt accepted and still judged myself. My happiness never depended on others, I just couldn't see it, in this world full of image. I love myself, always and forever. But I am not boastful; I am thoughtful.

Wowzers!! Life moves incredibly fast and amazingly. I am currently living at my sister's being a babysitter from 530 am to 400pm, best job ever. Long hours but I get to sleep on the job, so long as my niece is asleep :). The rest of the time I am off duty. However, I am a great aunt twenty-four seven ;) I enjoy what I am doing, there isn't much rest, like lazy rest, which is good and helpful to my bad routines. I am so blessed; it is hard for me to imagine my life without gratitude for our dear Heavenly Father. I love being a member of the truth and I love that I was open-hearted to the faithful messages Heavenly Father's children shared with me. I am so happy I was willing to be ready at the time in my life. I pray dearly, every single day for those who are unwilling to listen to the messages from God and continue to live thier live's without the greatest influence of the most magnificently loving Holy Spirit. I am so glad to have received the best gift of my life, the blessing of the Holy Ghost which in turn allows me to listen to Heavenly Father's will and which helps me toward my goal of the most Celestial Kingdom. I love Heavenly Father. I am so grateful for the many and continuous trials in my life. What a great blessing to be helped in the most constructive way. I mean think about it, when do we learn the most? When we have to work hard through something; we remember it the greatest because we had to work. Life is great, because we have to work for our joys and happiness. We have to actively be a particpant in our live's. We mustn't allow others to solely direct us or to have Heavenly Father solely direct us. We are human and therefore must direct our live's the way we see fit through guidance and experience. Heavenly Father loves us so much the He gave us agency and Jesus Christ most definitely loves us, He atoned for our sins that when we strayed from the path to our goal but whole-heartedly repented, He forgives our sin. What an amazing blessing to live. Please use the life you have been given to be a positive and loving influence on the live's of those you have never met, your best friends, your acquaintances, your family, yourself. Please love all, love must come before judging. It is the only way to truly be a friend and help those whom you can. We are striving to be Christ-like? Yes we are. We are sons and daughters of a most loving and caring Father in Heaven. I am loved. You are loved. I love you.

Today was a very productive day for me  :) I have made home-made pizza, bread and hopefully beans, for tonight, tomorrow, and Sunday. I feel accomplished  :) YES!!

I was just looking at pictures of a most amazing and worthy missionary. And then the thought of raising a family with the faith and knowledge of the truth. And then I thought about how I want Heavenly Father's children, the ones I bear, how I desire for them to go on missions. I love Heavenly Father so dearly and with much warmth in my heart. I am so grateful for missionaries and the amazing life they had a part in blessing me with. I know that some missionaries are not as strong as others, and had the missionaries fallen slightly, I may not have been the person writing this. However, I am the beautiful and worthy daughter today that is writing my thoughts and feelings down. I love you :)

I don't want to seem ungrateful for my beautifully blessed life, but I feel so unhappy right now. I probably am focusing on something that I don't need to be thinking about. Right now I am thinking about dating and how I have not been asked out once this semester. I know I am intimidating but may I please go out on one date. I don't want to marry you, I just want to get to know you. :) I love my life, no matter how ungrateful I sound I really am not. I am happy for my trials and friends and family that keep me strong and loving. I love you!
Love Nikki Elizabeth! :)

Going to the temple always clears my mind. Now I can say what I mean....I LOVE ALL OF YOU!! dearly. Thank you for all of the love you have shown me. I love you.

Well, I have been quite frustrated these past few weeks and I am trying to figure out why and I know why for most of my disappointment, but I wonder if there is something more that I could do. I am choosing to live my life more centered around Christ and I am trying to be happy through all of the sin. I am a very traditional person and I feel greatly that certain things should be regarded with the up most respect and consideration. However, I feel that the young people do not know consideration for someone other than themselves. I feel quite sad and like most of my peers are lonely, because they find joy and happiness in things that are empty. I feel that when I live the best I choose to, others live's are blessed so greatly that I think to myself why I even get down when there is no point or help for anyone in that. If I live righteously, others are going to see and they will desire to live better as well. But when I live in a slumpy and upset mood, I make others desire to stay the same or be effected by my non-appreciation for my blessings and love. I must say though, some people, I am one of them, sometimes when I see someone down and I am down too, I desire to be happier and living life to the fullest through their example of the "bad" puppy dog behavior. I know that I am a strong and beautiful daughter of Heavenly Father; I know that all the time. I just NEED to express it all the time. I need to help others see that life is so splendid and joyful. How can it not be? We don't have to travel to the temple, here at BYU-I. We don't have physical ailments that keep us from living comfortably daily, real serious ailments. We are able to read and understand the Gospel. We have been blessed the amazing bodies that function amazingly; that heal themselves, that digest food, that help us in many ways we are unable to completely understand. We are blessed. Count your blessings, name them one by one, you'll see, your life is all you want it to be and even MORE! I love life and I don't always express that because I allow the emotions of the world inside my heart and I want to say sorry if I have ever increased the likelihood of you feeling ungrateful, or sad, or lonely, or any other emotion not of our dear Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I am sorry, dearly I am. I love you and thank you, what beautiful people I am surrounded by. What amazing blessings of friendship and opportunity in this life through the ones I love. Thank you for all of your examples in one way or another, all of you have influenced me. Thank you for helping me become the strong and worthy daughter of God. Your blessings are many, and your tribulations few. Love you and joy to the world, Our Saviour is to come. A day to be working toward and in awe of. Amazingly blessed, yes we are. Love you!

Amazing!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuDg4JELjHA&feature=related

So, today I was just walking in the amazing weather and then from behind me I heard:
"WOOOOHOOOOO!!!!! I LOVE THIS WEATHER!" -one young priesthood holder
"I'M WITH YOU ON THE EXCITEMENT, SIR" -another priesthood holder
"THANK YOU, SIR!"

Amazing how so many, including myself complain about the weather. Why must we complain about such blessings. God does not give us blessings we cannot handle. I know that, I believe it. And I love you all. Thank you for reading my blog.

So, I have been thinking lately how blessed I am and how thankful I am for all that I am able to go through to become stronger and wiser. I am currently ill with headache, resprained ankle, and yeah. However, I believe greatly in our Father in Heaven's will and that these little things are helping me. I currently don't know why exactly because I am human and still learning a lot. There are many hypothesis I have formulated and all bring me back to the thought of gratitude for Heavenly Father. For these small trials may be just what I need right now. I don't feel that way but I believe that way. I have an amazingly blessed life. I have friends and family I am loyal and loving of, I am experiencing independence with limits I love, I am quite healthy and active in life and in my beliefs, I am living in times when the Gospel was graciously and ready to be restored, I accepted the Gospel and love for the truth with much guidance from Heavenly Father, I am currently at a place the Holy Spirit is primarily constant, I am less than a block from the Lord's house, I am loved by Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, in return I love Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, I am blessed most dearly and graciously. I am loved. I do hope you feel the love from myself, Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and your family and friends. Please know that you are beautiful, always always always always remember that YOU are made after the image of our perfect God. Please remember that, please remember that before you judge yourself in any way or judge anyone else. We all have our past that has shaped us, we don't know everything that someone has gone through and therefore we must not think that we are in any way capable of knowing them to judge them. As well as with ourselves, though we may have lived our lives judging ourselves constantly comes from Satan because he wants to see us think we are not good enough and he wants us to forget that we are dearly made after the image of our great and beloved Father in Heaven. I love you. Your Heavenly Father loves you. Jesus Christ loves you. Your family loves you. Your friends love you. If you feel that you are not loved, don't believe Satan, he wants you to feel unworthy, but you are worthy, you are amazing. I believe that we don't tell each other enough that we love each other. Let's make a habit of saying I love you every day to the ones we love and hold dear to our hearts. If we are in strife with someone, before you stop talking, say I love you, because you do, you just don't feel it in your heart when you are in strife. Believe that you love them because you do. Love you, write soon.......hopefully =)

Hello Everyone!!! Today is the fantabulous day of St. Valentine. It is quite the day. I feel it has been one of my calmer days in the last few weeks. Today's devotional was awesomely beautiful and gripping. I feel so good. My life is amazing and so blessed. I feel so grateful and joyous. I feel the love of our Lord and our Father in Heaven. My focus must be upon the Lord's will, not my own. I love you :) Have a beautiful day joyful persons I enjoy.

This weekend has been so amazingly awesome! I have had two rejections and it has made me so happy!!! I have never felt so blessed with human truth in my life before. Awesome!!! :)

Hello :)
Maybe I'm just too serious, but I really do not appreciate the almost mocking our Beloved Heavenly Father. I do not understand the purpose of the mocking. You will laugh at something that diminishes the Holy value of your Creator and Father? Would you do the same to your earthly father? Probably not because he is right there, you can see him. However, with the faith that we all should have, we do not need to see Heavenly Father, we KNOW He is here with us. So why mock our loving, kind, giving, wise,...Father in Heaven? Don't just go with the flow, most often the flow is the way of the world. And we are NOT of the world. Show everyone your light, let your spirit shine, we are peculiar people. I love you. Our Lord, our Redeemer, Jesus Christ loves you. Our Heavenly Father loves you, look at your blessings and trials, see how magnificent Heavenly Father is. Thank you :) Love you ALL DEARLY :) what great joy it is to live in these times :) We are the strength.